Yoga on a Surfboard & #sexahmagicbook update

Turning Twinkies into Stonehenge (aka: Promised Inspirational Post)

Hi all,

Lately a lot of people have been asking my opinions on things.

Maybe they think because I have a book published and some people like it whilst semi-successfully raising two kids that I know what I’m doing. I’m happy that I present myself as such, because most of the time I’m cooking pasta, tossing it at the wall, seeing what sticks and then more often than not eating the falling stuff, cuz hey, I need to eat.

But these are some things I *do* 100% believe in and try mostly to follow. Some are writing things, some are life things.

Some are both.

Recycle, Reuse, or Compost at your discretion.

1. Do the right thing. I learned this from Spike Lee. If there’s an old man walking behind you into Starbucks don’t slam the door in his face, open the door and let him in. Not because you want someone to do the same thing for you one day, but because it’s the right thing to do.

2. Be nice to young people. By young people I mean babies, kids, tweens, teens.

My upcoming fantasy book deals with an abusive father so I’ve been in that mindset for awhile, the frustration of a person who would treat their child badly, it’s the same mindset of a cop who abuses a prisoner just because he can. Why would anyone mistreat a child? They are the hope for our future. They are innocence personified. They are everything good about our world delivered into loud, zany, sometimes frustrating packages. I had the unfortunate experience of witnesses two bouts of child abuse in the last few days. One was physical (a loud smack to a crying toddler), one was mental/verbal abuse (a mother cursing at her child). This is unacceptable and should not happen on our planet. Everyone loses their patience, but that’s why we are grown-ups. We are supposed to know how to make good choices, that is why we are “adults.” (Or pretend to be when we are doing our taxes.) Having unrealistic expectations for your tweets and teens, “You must get straight A’s! You must get into the best college!” is, to me, another form of child abuse. Boundaries are great, and necessary. But when do we most want to run? When we feel trapped. Nobody wants to escape when they feel free.

3. If you are writer, write what you love. Write what you want to read. If I ever stop doing this, I will stop writing. On that same vein, believe what you write, and stand by it. I will never stop saying thank you to people who love SEA, or give it glowing reviews. I’m happy that people like it. I appreciate that people are spending their hard-earned money to buy it, or are supporting their local library by checking it out. I will never stop cheering on my stories because if I didn’t think they were worth reading I wouldn’t have been bold enough to try and get it into readers hands. If I didn’t it would  be like going to my boy’s soccer team and falling asleep on the sidelines. It’s never going to happen.

4. Do yoga. Oh my effing lotus position, PRACTICE YOGA. It makes everything better. If you’re a writer or a Twitter addict (not that I know any of those) you are probably spending a lot of time like this:

And after awhile that starts to hurt…everything.

Yoga loosens it all up.

If you can’t afford a gym, or can’t get out of the house because you are trapped with wee ones, then rent a video. You will be happy you did.

5. Don’t give up/But know when to alter your plan: You hear all the time, don’t give up on anything you truly want or believe in. My husband got rejected from medical school the first time, worked his butt off and tried again. I think if he hadn’t got accepted the second time he would still be trying and I would still be supporting him. BUT, this is a BIG BUTT, if something really isn’t working know when to throw in the towel. If you want to be Mozart but are tone deaf? Consider a different art…it’s the same with writing. Pay attention to physical cues.

Good signs:

Bright alert eyes, nodding of heads, laughter (kind), verbal cues like, “I can’t wait for the next chapter!”

Bad signs:

Picking of toenails, getting on Twitter,  laughter (cruel) falling asleep, verbal cues like, “This SUCKS!”

I’ve thrown in the towel MANY A TIME.

And I’m sure I will again.

In fact most writers I know have thrown it in more than once.

It doesn’t make you a quitter, it makes you smart. Move onto something different, something that works.

6. Don’t eat Twinkies. They make you fat and crazy.

Instead, if you fall for that horrid Buy me! rack of Twinkie boxes next to the register at Target (apparently they are not aware of the childhood obesity epidemic in our country???) turn Hostess upside down and build a perplexing Wonder of the World out of that transfat!

(Stole this from the web. But I honor you Stonehenge Twinkie artist. Bravo.)

7. Don’t be afraid to watch feel-good, well-written TV.

Vampire Diaries, Friday Night Lights, Glee would fall into this category.

TV Bashers be gone! When I was in college at my hippie, banana slug alma mater, this bumper sticker was very popular:

I think it should say:

KILL BAD TV

I’m talking to YOU JERSEY SHORE.

8. Say YES often and much and LIVE. Live live live. When you are happy play, sing, kiss, dance, laugh. When you are sad, cry, throw tantrums, eat ice cream, blab to your friends, whatever–just don’t get so wrapped up in work and goals and the horrible things on the news (I loathe the news) that you forget to live your life. And when you are tired, or feel uncomfortable don’t forget you have the right to say NO. No thank you, No way. No No No. I say no as often as I say yes. This is the secret to staying balanced. Once upon a time I said yes to everything and I felt very taken advantage of and just…tired. It’s okay to say NO. It’s your right. Unless you are trying to get out of wearing your seat belt or are stealing the remote when TVD is on, then your rights are revoked. It’s in the Constitution! I swear!

9. Wear sunscreen. I stole this from Baz Luhrman.

10. Appreciate the people in your life who love you. I know this is sometimes very hard to do and I’m not always good at this either. The people who love us the most are often the ones who get taken advantage of when we are busy, stressed, whatever. They are the ones who deserve chocolates on their pillows at night.

OKAY THAT’S IT.

If you do not represent Viagra, I would love to hear from  you in comments.

PS. The #sealove party was a RAGER on Twitter last night. I had SOOOOO many people and no one even spewed! I gave away SEVEN SEA POSTERS that look like this:

YES IT IS GIANT LIKE THIS.

The FAIL WHALE (aka: Twitter Narc) kicked me off for TOO MANY TWEETS when I still had THREE POSTERS LEFT AND A TANK-TOP to giveaway.

So our lovely host, Page Turners Blog (Stacey) added ANOTHER #sealove party!

It will be Friday, at 7:00 p.m. PDT.

Come one come all!

Cheers,

Heidi

Great Good Place for Books in Oakland!

If you’re around, I’ll be signing books and talking about SEA tonight at 7:00 p.m. at Great Good Place for Books in Oakland California.

How to get there?

http://www.ggpbooks.com/About%20us.html

Hope to see you!

PS. If you’re interested in whether or not I’m Team Deni or Team Spider, the answer *may be found* here:

http://harmonyradiantreads.blogspot.com/2010/08/author-interview-heidi-r-kling.html

PPS. I have lots of great stories to tell about Borders Glendale and D’land and psychedelic blue barf*. So stay tuned.

*I just knew I had you at that teaser. ;-)