

I had a dream last night that I was watching (rewatching because it was in the past) the debut of the song THRILLER on MTV. Any of you remember that? I was ten years old and I think it was one of MTV’s first videos. Anyway, I’m scanning down my flist and kbaccellia has a picture of the album and a post about it being the 25th Anniversary. How creepy-coincidental is that?
Is Michael Jackson dream-stalking me?
Not a pleasant thought.
In other news, inspiration struck and I wrote a *short* scene to fit into the second half of SEA. It’s a scene that’s been on my mind for a long time and needed to be in my manuscript to complete the story arc etc. I just sent it to my editor. Hope she doesn’t go all zombie M.J. on me!

Jealousy.This comes up a lot in this business, and in this life. d_michiko_f has a wonderful post and many comments up now about the green meanies. Her post reminded me of one jealously story in particular that I wanted to share and what I did to overcome it. After I finished my MFA at New School, we moved back to California from New York for a bit, then my husband and I joyfully traveled around Australia and New Zealand while he did an away rotation to wrap up his med school requirements. Upon returning, my whole world came crumbling down with a family emergency, which totally derailed the happy place I was at in life. It destroyed our homecoming. This ‘event’ not only took months of my physical time away from me, but crushed me mentally. Barely able to complete my thesis, I had to get an extension, and was basically a mess. What was supposed to be a fabulous time in life, (An MFA! Back to Cali! Med school complete!), it was the worst time in my life.
A year or so later, I still hadn’t found my footing. I didn’t want to write. I was working a stupid job that I hated, and my husband was struggling through his internship year. But then I got pregnant with our beautiful son and I had a purpose again. I was a mom. I took my new position in life very very seriously. I read all the books, spent 24 hours a day doting on him, and after the crisis, I was finally happy again.
When E-baby was about six months old, I started to write again. Just a bit. I found a writer’s group (the same group I’m in now). Little by little i started getting back in the groove.
Then I heard about the Longstockings! If you don’t know them, they are the fabulous MFA New School graduates who have their own blog and who all got publishing contracts right after graduating.
http://thelongstockings.blogspot.com/
I’m not normally a jealous person, but when I read about them? I was jealous. Right after graduating? But I graduated 6 years ago! I whined. I felt like such a loser.
And then I thought…why not introduce myself? So I did. They were all so gracious and kind. Coe Booth gave me advice, Daphne was so sweet. Tomorrow Siobhan is coming on Author Chat!
And I realized, what good does it do to be jealous of these awesome ladies? Is that going to get me published?
No. But writing a book, the best book I could write and working my buns off might.
So that’s what I did.
Which is probably what the Longstockings did, too, while I was traveling and dealing with my family crisis and raising my baby.
The moral of this little green story is that sometimes things look so perfect and shiny. Sometimes people look like they have a charmed life, or were born under a magic star, but with writing, it’s really all working on your skill, dedication to your work and perseverance, perhaps sprinkled with a dust of good luck.

Green meanies be gone!
Highlights for me:
*Cody Diablo winning best screenplay for Juno. Sadly, I haven’t seen the movie yet, but she seems so un-Hollywood and interesting and obviously wrote a great script.
*ONCE winning best song, especially satisfying after sitting through all those cheesy Enchanted songs. I absolutely adored ONCE. Major major props to Marketa Iglora for coming back on stage to give her inspiring acceptance speech after the orchestra violined her away. WTF is up with that anyway? You think they’d start the music if it was the Cloonster’s turn to thank the world? *Doubt it.*

*Jon Stewart. His monologue was hilarious. I laughed out loud at the Titler joke.
*Ellen Page. How cute is she? She also seems so real next to all those other actresses. Love her. And love what she had to say about her movie about teen pregnancy being about hope and uplifting. Barbara Walters asked her something about the realism of a movie where the parents and boyfriend are supportive and the kids don’t make fun of her at school and she answered, “I think that could happen, yeah.” YES. Because people need roll models on how to react helpfully and positively to not-ideal events that come up in life sometimes.
*Clooney. With no Brad, no Leo, at least we had Clooney. Oh, and Jack in the front row. Gotta love that.
I didn’t see any of the blood movies, so I have no opinion other than I do appreciate the Coen Brothers talent, and their acceptance speech about making Super 8 movies at the airport as little boys was very charming.
What was your highlight of the evening? Any thoughts about any of the big wins?
*A full rainbow outside my window. Full, like I could see both ends. Now the sideways rain and wind is blowing it away, but wow! I wish I could figure out how to link my camera phone pics to the computer.
*My boys spent last night away on their ‘man overnight’ in Monterey: aquarium, Cannery Row (of the Steinbeck fame), karate movies and junk food. E-man was planning on pulling an all nighter with Daddy and I haven’t heard from them this morning–let’s hope they didn’t go all FEAR AND LOATHING on me and take off to Vegas!
*I worked A LOT yesterday on revision. I’m finished with Stacey’s notes, now I’m going back through and using the notes that a friend, who used to live and volunteer at a real pesantren, gave me. Little language translation, logistic corrections, things like that. Things I’d only know if I actually lived there for a year. So valuable. Love her.
*Watched MICHAEL CLAYTON last night with my friend who came over. Wanted to hug George the whole time. How can this gorgeous man be so vulnerable? What was the deal with the brother? Loved the ending. Won’t blow it for you, but will someone please marry that man and make beautiful children with him immediately? Such a waste.
*My agent wrote me yesterday and there are *film agents* waiting to read revised SEA, one in particular that is really excited. She has a very good reputation and has sold some awesome books that became awesome movies. And she wants to talk to me on the phone! The whole film thing makes me feel like a kid on her way to Disneyland not knowing if it will be open or closed, so I try not to think about it too much. Honestly, I love love books, but I’m sort of in-love with movies, in a slightly embarrassing fangrrl way. I know chances of a book being made into a movie are the same as me having a five minute long painless delivery, but don’t think I haven’t seen the preview to SEA the movie in my head. Um, playing over and over. Like right now…perhaps Clooney could play Sea’s Dad…? =9
*My boys are coming home today! I can’t wait to for E to run up the path with his green froggie raincoat on and fling himself into my arms. Yes, the house is clean and I’m getting a lot of work done, but it is quiet and boring without them.

You know you’ve hit an aesthetic low when you pick out a wide polka-dot paneled pair of dark blue jeans at Gap Maternity, check out your butt in the mirror and say, “Not bad.”
For those of you who are lucky enough to not know what a panel is, voila:

Have a great weekend, everyone.
And don’t forget, once you’ve finished reading the wonderful SWEETHEARTS, check out yesterday’s interview with Sara Zarr.
http://seaheidi.livejournal.com/60772.html
Welcome to the first ever Spoiler Alert! Book Club, where the interview includes *spoilers*. Our first guest is the National Book Award Nominee Sara Zarr, (STORY OF A GIRL), whose second novel SWEETHEARTS proves she’s a long-term major creative voice in the YA literary world. I *adored* SWEETHEARTS, but was left with some questions I knew only the author could answer. So I asked. And so told! I got sooo lucky. So without further adieu, Ms. Sara Zarr sarazarr:
Heidi: This is how I know I love a book: I buy it, I read the first chapter, and the book is finished within 24 hours; Sentences are so well-written I re-read them a couple times even though I can’t wait to get on with the story; I fall in love with the character’s love interest; I cry at least once, but the closing sentiment makes me smile. All of these things happened when I read SWEETHEARTS. When you read a book, what are the things that make you love it? When you write, do you try and write a book that you’d want to read?
Sara: Yes, I am always selfishly thinking of my own enjoyment. For me a satisfying reading experience is one in which a number of things happen: I think, I’m moved, I recognize something true about the human experience, I recognize something specifically true about MY experience, and I care what happens to the characters. Also it has to be more interesting than whatever’s on TV, and since I unabashedly love TV, that can be tough!
Heidi: I loved Cameron Quick, and I know your MC, Jennifer (Jenna), does too. I wouldn’t have minded a little smooching in the Dad’s office, especially the night she tells him she loves him. Why did you decide not to go that route?
Sara: I think that their connection—while very real—also felt very fragile to them. Cameron is there for such a short amount of time. Jenna barely gets to believe that he’s really back before he leaves again, and they’re careful with each other. I think they both sense the potentially damaging complication that a romantic consummation could cause and they care too much about each other to risk it.
Heidi: The flashback scenes were painfully wonderful, so full of tension and suspense. I especially loved how subtle you were, we don’t quite know what happened to Cameron’s lizard; we don’t quite know what happened to Cameron, but like a scream that takes place off the screen in a horror film, we know it was something awful. Why go this more mysterious route instead of answering the questions specifically?
Sara: I didn’t want it to be sensational or wind up making the story A Tragic Tale About Child Abuse. All of us who have made it through childhood have survived something. I actually really resisted having an Incident as their backstory at first, until my editor convinced me that for the power of their present bond to be believable there had to be something concrete to externalize that. I’m also interested in memory and the trickiness of memory, how some things stick and some don’t, so I think that the details we get in Jenna’s flashbacks are really the only details she remembers and since it’s her POV we can’t know more.
Heidi: I loved how you weaved such serious issues like child abuse and eating disorders into your novel, but kept the writing and the narrative so accessible to all readers. This is no small task, and I loved the multi layers of the novel. How, as a writer, did you create that balance?
Sara: I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know how that happens except that it’s usually a process of taking more and more stuff out of drafts. My first drafts usually have a lot more direct talking about what’s happening, a lot of overstatement, more literal dialogue, more cliche. In revision I try to lighten that touch and be more subtle and weave-y. It’s a “trust the reader” thing as well as a “trust myself” thing.
Heidi: This is my *wahhhhhh* question. Massive, massive spoiler. Why-oh-why didn’t she end up with Cameron? I know that would have been too easy of an ending, but I know Jenna (fer) wanted to. Is she waiting for him to get himself together. Will we pretty please have a sequel one day (perhaps they can be juniors in college or something?)
Sara: Heh-heh. There’s a reason there’s a bite out of that cookie, right? As I mentioned before, there’s the issue of not wanting to trivialize what they have by making it romantic. I mean, not that that romantic relationships are trivial, but they can be, especially in high school. What’s the potential there? Jenna is going to college, Cameron is going home to take care of his younger siblings. Their friendship is so, so important to both of them that I don’t think they would ever consider mucking it up by bringing romance into the equation unless they were certain it would end up being for life, and they both have things to take care of before they can know that.
Heidi’s inner thoughts: Yay!
Heidi: Desert Island Game: If you HAD to choose one of your fabulous books to be your favorite, which would you choose SWEETHEARTS or STORY OF A GIRL? (I know nobody ever tells the truth here, but give it your best shot!)
Sara: Geez! Okay, this is easy because I’m never able to love the book that’s newly out. When STORY came out, I could barely look at it and now I have rather fond feelings for it. Whereas right now, SWEETHEARTS is the new, scary thing. So if I had to choose today, I’d take STORY because I’ve been with it longer and it’s like an old friend.
Heidi: How many times did you revise SWEETHEARTS? How much input does your editor give you?
Sara: I think there were five fairly major drafts that I turned in. It was a lot of work. STORY only had one major rewrite and then a mini one, but then again it had been through at least five drafts before it sold. My editor gives me a lot of input, but it’s not super specific until the very end of the process. I’ll turn in a draft, and she’ll write me an email with a kind of general overview of where the problems are (which in the beginning, by the way, is everywhere). Usually there is some core thing that all her comments come back to (like a central motivation or character trait), and through revision I get closer and closer to resolving that core thing and the other smaller problems tend to work themselves out. She’s been known to use the phrase, “Just add another layer of complexity.” :-)
Heidi: Do you ever read your books (after they are in print) and want to change anything about them? I’m revising my first novel right now and I could probably spend a lifetime tinkering with it. How do you know when a novel is totally and completely finished?
Sara: Oh, I always want to change things. I mean, I’ve never actually sat down and read either STORY or SWEETHEARTS all the way through in their finished form—I’m too chicken! But when I’m reading live from one of my books, I’m changing words as I go. My reading copy of STORY is pretty marked up by now. I trust my editor to tell me when something is finished, because if it were up to me I’d never know.
Heidi: When is your third book coming out, and can you tell us anything about it?
Sara: It should be late 2009 or early 2010. I’m not totally sure. As they say, “It takes as long as it takes.” It’s about a pastor’s daughter in a rural town, and her parents’ separation, and an unusual friendship with an older man. It’s all set against the backdrop of the kidnapping of another girl in her church during a scorching summer. (Wow, it sounds really complicated! I hope I can pull it off!)
Heidi: And now for the three-point zinger: is there any other novel (not by you) in print today that you would have liked to write?
Sara: Les Miserables.
Heidi: Thanks so much for sharing your spoiler’s, Sara Zarr!
Sara: Thank you!

http://www.sarazarr.com/
‘Morning. Woke up to cloudy skies, drove the boys to school in the rain. Supposed to rain all week. Good writing weather.
Couple warm and cozy things:
*Sara Zarr’s interview goes up THURSDAY. It is filled with JUICY SPOILERS. Information you’d probably only get if you were lucky enough to have an hour long chit-chat with Sara over fancy coffee drinks and were brave enough (or nerdy enough, in my case) to ask! You have two days to finish her fabulous book and come discuss with us.
*Speaking of fancy coffee drinks, guess what we bought this weekend?

Ah! So excited! Also went to World Market and bought these:
and this

So we can make fun drinks!
Come by Thursday, and I’ll try and shove one through the screen for ya…that is, if I can figure out how to use the thing…good thing it came with an instructional DVD!
PS. I figured out how to use it and it turned out great. =)
Have a great (short) week!
After this weekend I’ll probably need a butt replacement surgery. Seriously cannot feel butt. Yes, I’m remembering to stretch, but I am *plowing* through this revision, trying really hard to channel my inner John Green and really re-vision the parts that need work (the middle of course, why is it always the middle?)
Today’s Slaughter:
*I ERASED an entire chapter
*I rearranged the order of six chapters, completely rewriting two of them
*Wrote a new scene from scratch
*Ate a giant cinnamon roll
*Cut and pasted to my junk file two HUGE chunks of chapters
Enough violence. Now wanna hear my Happy Dance news?
My pregnancy inspired insomnia fuels creativity and I’m introducing a new chat series on my blog!
SPOILER ALERT! BOOK CLUB
It’s an interview series where an author can really discuss the meat of her book, not just “What inspires you?” or “How did you get published?” But really juicy, nitty-gritty detailed stuff that only the author knows. (And us readers want to know too!)
My first lovely guest? The FABULOUS Sara Zarr who just crushed my heart into pieces with her beautiful second novel SWEETHEARTS. (You may know Sara. She was nominated for a National Book Award for her wonderful debut novel STORY OF A GIRL?)
I’m posting about SWEETHEARTS next week. Her answers are so cool, honest and exciting!

Your job? Read this fabulous book before next week. Honestly, for anyone writing a YA, this book is a must-read. I learned so much (and was so inspired by our chat). And if you haven’t read it before next week (and are hanging your head in shame), please skip the interview or be prepared to be spoiled!
…now off to stretch and slash some more.
Actually it’s more like revision-butt-numbness, but I’m so happy! I’ve been working on SEA for, let’s see, for nearly 8 hours straight! This is the longest chunk of time I’ve been able to work in months. Seriously. And it’s going really, really well. You know why it’s going so well? My revision task, that’s why.
My editor, when we talked a couple weeks ago, asked me to drag out the romantic (is sexual an R-rated blog word?) tension between my MC’s. Before I had them sort of dive right into it, more adult style, less YA, so now I’m adding this and that and that and this, and moving chapters around and chunks of text etc. etc., and I must say: what a lovely task she gave me. Spending the day with these two star-crossed lovers as they more sllloooowwwwlly fall in love.
Thanks, Miss Wonder (whose clearly a romantic) Editor…and thanks to Best Hubby ever for entertaining Number One Son all day so I can do my, ahem, extremely difficult job.

Someone’s gotta think about this stuff, right?
Happy long weekend all…